“Life is like a box of chocolates …”

“… you never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump’s momma

What a busy week again. It seems to be that the sheer randomness of life here in China is returning. And I like it! It makes for a much more interesting daily routine, and certainly helps time to pass! For that reason, the below blog entry is going to be a bit of a mish-mash of things, but I hope you’ll enjoy reading it – it should be more enjoyable to read than the last couple of efforts I think!

[Ed.: I’ve just re-read it, and I’ve realised I’ve totally omitted anything about my studies. Unintentional I must add… No – I’m not forgetting why I’m here in China, but it’s just without question not as interesting as the rest of it!]

Cooking

I’ve been continuing the cooking trend with a pesto, spinach and tomato pasta last night. Dani, Will and Brent came round to eat and watch Pulp Fiction (somehow I’d never seen it before)… Brent plans to reciprocate by using Paulina’s facilities to treat us to a burger and chips tonight. Can’t wait!

Activity

As you’ll know by now, I’m a person who can’t sit still (in Chinese, they call this “itchy hands” rather than our foot-related equivalent). I’ve already got a reputation in my class and around the dorms. But that’s no bad thing; it means I get asked out to do social things which I enjoy doing, and have started to do more of this semester…

We’ll start with football. A group of us foreigners have continued the trend of trying to play once or twice a week, whether it’s among ourselves or with some Chinese students. Although disorganised, it’s a good couple of hours’ workout and a good laugh!

Moving on to a rather more bizarre story. My essay-writing teacher, Mr Gao, has taken a liking to my written work, especially essays about learning to slackline (how on earth I successfully managed to translate those specialist terms I’ve no idea) and running a marathon. [Ed.: Maybe my choice of essay subjects doesn’t do anything to dispel the aforementioned reputation…] Anyhow, we were in contact on the text and he invited me to go and play badminton with him yesterday (Thursday) morning. It was a heck of a run-around! He was the Shanghai city-wide champion eight years ago, and is clearly a very good player. We played doubles, the tactics of which were all new to me, against two of his friends (also very good). Somehow – more down to him than my aimless running around – we won 3-2, winning the last game 22-20. It was really enjoyable; he even had the politeness to say I was good considering I’ve played once in the last year!

Badminton with Mr Gao and his comrades!

Badminton with Mr Gao and his comrades!

And my final bit of exercise (gym programme and occasional running aside): slacklining. I’m well and truly back into it. I’ve tried to upload another video below of me attempting to get back to my best, and Vlad’s second-ever attempt. I’ve got a list of new tricks to master, as I feel I can improve massively in the next few months before coming home. Just got to stick a front flip first, before I can move on!

Hash run

I briefly mentioned running there… I’ve been doing a bit less of that, due to: a) my shin; b) having an exercise bike on my balcony; c) the weather being pretty hot!

Brent has been trying to persuade me to go to the Saturday Hash run since I first got here. Next weekend, he will have finally succeeded. I have a good reason though! It’s a special birthday run, and you can choose from an 8k or a 20k. I think it’s obvious which one I’m going to take on… £8 entry to include the morning run, a lunchtime meal and drinks, free t-shirt, and bragging rights if I can run to my potential!! I look forward to it, in an apprehensive sort of way.

Date at KFC

Wednesday was a bit of an odd day, beginning with two pieces of job-related news (see below), and culminating in a very short-notice ‘date’… in the loosest sense of the word.

I got a message on MoMo – a sort of location-related texting service – during the afternoon from a Chinese girl who was nearby. She looked reasonably attractive from her photos and was keen to meet up to practice her English. We seemed to have a bit in common so we arranged to meet up in the evening at the South Gate. I suggested she choose a restaurant for us to head to. Imagine my thought process when we got to the door of KFC…

Safe to say, we’ll probably not be meeting up again!

Job

And finally, on to the job news. The first text of Wednesday was from the school’s boss to say they are moving their school, to right next to our university. Very handy! He said it may be a few weeks before it’s furnished and ready, but they would still like me to work for them while I’m in Haikou. That was a bit of a positive really; I’m not desperately keen to work a full week, but any extra spending/saving money would be greatly appreciated.

So on the back of that, I was pretty content. Even more so come the evening, when Mrs Xu, one of the school’s administrative officials, asked me if she could pass my number on. It turns out, Hainan TV is looking for a foreigner to read its news in English. A few teachers had been asked to recommend a student, and both she and Mr Wang passed my name on. As a result, the lady in charge is pretty hopeful that I get the job. I have to audition on Sunday morning, but on WeChat, she asked me to talk and send some photos; she said I have a “beautiful” voice (not so sure about that, haha) and meet the criteria. She really hopes the boss will accept me for the job, which will be one or two times a week, for an hour or so at a time. I’m not even sure whether I’ll get the job, but it just may mean my SUIT SHOPPING trip is pushed forward a few weeks 🙂

So, fingers crossed for Sunday morning, and if all goes well, we may have to borrow a TV for the dorm to have a good laugh once a week…

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A weekend in paradise

Hello dear readers!

It’s been another couple of weeks since I penned my last entry, and I guess there’s been quite a lot going on.

I’ve been continuing about my daily life, experiencing more of the ups and downs mentioned a fortnight ago. This daily life has involved studying during the mornings, doing a lot of exercise – thanks in part to the exercise bike I purchased a while ago – and enjoying plenty of cooking for and with friends. Part of the exercise has been through football. A group of us foreigners have been meeting up in the afternoons occasionally, either to play amongst ourselves or to find a Chinese side to beat on the seven-a-side pitches. I’ve got some new kit and boots for the purpose now. But sadly, this dispenses with my final excuse for being pretty dire: “I’m wearing running shoes…”

There was also the semester’s opening ceremony (ironically, four weeks into the semester), where I was asked to make a speech on behalf of the eight of us who received Hainan government scholarships for outstanding study or extracurricular activities (mine was the latter, as a result of the speaking competition). That went pretty well.

Last weekend, Brent, Paulina (his girlfriend) and I planned to go to Riyue Bay. The weather intervened, so it was postponed to this weekend. More on that later…

Instead, Will, Brent, Dani, Vlad, Patrick and I had a bit of a cooking fest on Saturday night, followed by a game of Cards Against Humanity (“A game for horrible people”) and a trip to Which bar. It was my first time there – amazingly, really, given that it’s right next to the North Gate – and was a good fun evening. Apart from Sunderland’s result… Their position is becoming more and more precarious with each defeat!

This week, then? On Tuesday, Brent and I went to a driving range at Baishamen. It’s a really cool place, but is as expensive, if not more so, than in England. He had a contact there, but she sadly stood us up after agreeing to meet us and (potentially) come to a deal of some sort…

After that disappointment I headed back to uni to meet a Chinese friend who works at Yes bar (the coffee place on campus). She’s learning the guitar, so we spent a couple of hours together practising… I hope I helped, but it’s difficult to explain in Chinese, when you’ve forgotten how to play it even in your mother tongue!

I’ve also been budgeting/planning for the next 18 months. A fair bit of proofreading work seems set to come my way over the next month, which is a timely boost to see me through to my summer internship. Even so, I’ve got back in touch with the school to see if they need my services this term – I’m not hopeful though, as there’s a lack of response so far.

Riyue Bay trip

This weekend.

It’s been an awesome trip to be honest. On Friday I was hugely stressed out about getting everything ready in good time, so ran back to the dorm between the two classes to try and sort myself out, before returning to class.

It was at that moment I decided I’d treat these two days as a relax/refresh opportunity, then I’d re-find my bustling, busy self on my return. I’m starting off with this budgeting thing, and will continue by getting my bike fixed up. I’ve been walking everywhere, which is all very well, but it’s easy to forget the little things which ordinarily make me so time-efficient. It should just be a replacement inner tube; I’ve been putting it off for long enough now!

What about Riyue Bay then? On Friday, we took the train from Haikou’s East Station to Wanning, and a taxi from there. Including a coffee, it came to £10 for the whole journey – not bad!

After arriving at 4pm, Brent and Paulina set their tent up, before we took a dip in the sea and an explore. The hostel is a very cool place. It’s a surf centre downstairs, and is a hub of activity – it has a restaurant, skating halfpipe, perfect trees to set up a slackline (next time…), and all sorts of other outdoor installations. I had a dorm to myself on the first night (perfect) but have since been joined by a Korean guy studying in Hangzhou. (Can’t get away from these Koreans!!)

Saturday, we got up reasonably early and took a walk to Shimei Bay, roughly 10km away. There wasn’t much there when we eventually made it, but the weather was perfect for a stroll – sunny with a bit of a breeze. On the way back, we were all feeling pretty hungry after 36 hours of eating fruit and snacks and a good hike, so Brent led us into a tucked-away family restaurant in a tiny village off the beaten track, where we duly ordered an outrageous quantity of food – probably enough for five or six – and felt much better. After a good long walk, we’d earned it!

Then it was back to the hostel for a chill and some more beach time. We’re all fairly tired so plan to hit the hay pretty early after a couple of drinks and a light bite of fruit. The weather certainly isn’t conducive to heavy eating!

Tomorrow’s check out time is 12 noon, so before then, we plan to head for another wander – just along the beach this time. After grabbing our stuff, we’ll head to the roadside and hitchhike back to Haikou. It’s all a bit of an adventure!

From there, my streamlining and re-finding myself starts in earnest! Bring on busy Jack again.

PS. No idea if the below photos will work. If not, I’ll re-upload them when I get back tomorrow!

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Chinese speaking competition

As my valued regular readers will know, I was drafted in to take part in a university-wide foreigners-only Chinese speaking competition last night. I had no idea what to expect, but I had prepared as instructed, and at 6pm, I duly arrived at the hall.

I’d expected a 100-seater with a few pull-out chairs. Nope, this was a full-on theatre. Probably about 800 seats in there. Anyway, it was roughly one-half to two-thirds full by the time the thing started. About 15 of my classmates had all come along; I expected a few of them, but not as many as actually came along. They were all sitting in one big group near the back – in case they are among my readers here, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

So, anyhow – on to the competition itself… We all had to prepare four topics, and it went through one round at a time, in the same order every time. There were 11 other contestants, all of whom were in a higher class than me. For that reason, when I got there I thought: “Ahh well, have a laugh. Enjoy it!” But even so, I was still pretty nervous.

Part one was the introduction of self. When I came out on to the stage, all my friends were shouting for me and I was very close to bursting out laughing. They’re so great (they could have easily not bothered to come along and watch/listen to three hours of average Chinese last night), and the whole experience was just a little surreal. This part lasted one minute; I had prepared a few photos of Sunderland, and of my hobbies. In a somewhat Eurovision-esque fashion, the votes came in and I ended up scoring 9.1 out of 10. I was in third after that. (A quick note on the judges, by the way: there were two guest judges from Beijing University, and four from our school. Two of them happened to be my speaking teacher and the comprehensive teacher. Nice.)

Introducing the delights of Sunderland to the Chinese public

Introducing the delights of Sunderland to the Chinese public

Part two – the language performance. Many people chose to sing in this one, a couple of us recited poems. So my poem was called “Goodbye Cambridge” – it’s a really lovely poem about a guy who went to study there and really didn’t want to leave. I had been told by a nice Chinese girl in the cafe (to whom I’d read it) that I didn’t put enough emotion and contrast into it, so last night, I may have gone a bit overboard! I remembered all the bits in the middle that I couldn’t do, then got stuck towards the end on one of my favourite lines. Fortunately, someone in the crowd knew it and gave me a not-so-subtle prompt… My excessive emotion must have gone down well – in spite of stumbling a little, I scored 41 out of 50 which, I think, was the highest. Anyhow, I ended up tied first after that round.

My recital of the poem "Goodbye Cambridge"

My recital of the poem “Goodbye Cambridge”

Part three – arts performance. This round was a mixture of dancing and singing, really. I did my little party trick: cracked out the ukulele and played 对不起,我的中文不好 (I’m sorry, my Chinese is not good – a song about the difficulties of learning Chinese). This went down very well, as it’s a bit of a jokey song and pretty catchy. One of the judges in fact asked if I had written it myself; I had quite clearly explained the song’s background. Was she not paying attention?! Anyway, I scored 34.4 out of 40 for that one, which was the highest by about 1.5 points. So that pulled me ahead, with the last round to go.

The ukulele and song went down very well!

The ukulele and song went down very well!

That last round was to explain an aspect of English/British culture. I chose the north-south divide, because basically I’m totally biased. I got up on stage and first felt it necessary to apologise in advance to Will in the audience. But I don’t think he was too unimpressed – he’s an adopted northerner! No idea what I scored for this round, but safe to say, they told me I had won. We all went up again to have prizes presented. For winning first prize, I got two arty things (one of them may be a cup or a vase, but it’s black and orange, another is a tapestry type of thing, which is actually really nice). Apparently, I also get a place in the Hainan provincial competition – which takes place next month – but I know very little about that as it stands!

Post-ceremony

Post-ceremony

Winner winner chicken dinner - that one's for mum ;)

Winner winner chicken dinner – that one’s for mum 😉

So… once more to my balcony for an hour or two. This is becoming a little bit of a habit I feel!!

Hope you’re all well!

As a footnote, I have to thank my stalker for the photos. So she sent me 17 of them during the course of the event last night, then another eight afterwards… Then, after sitting having a coffee today, I received another image – this time, of my “concentration face” whilst sitting doing homework at the cafe. It’s all getting a little bit weird! 

Athletics competition

I’m going to tell the story of the weekend’s athletics tournament through the medium of modern dance. Or maybe just a slideshow of many many pictures (credit to Karolina, Vicky, a few random Chinese people, and maybe me for one or two of them).

Safe to say, it was such a fun few days. I achieved my aims with times of 4:58 for the 1500m and 18:11 for the 5km, and it was amazing that so many people (friends and others – including, bizarrely, the fruit market man, who gave me my shopping for free as a result…) were there to watch and support. I was cheered on as ‘Harry Potter’; I had numerous friend requests from randoms on WeChat; and finally, a girl in the street said she had some photos to send me. I thought, maybe two or three… Nope – I got back to my room to find all of 37 photos sent to my phone. Little bit weird, I’m not going to lie!

I’m pretty shattered now as a result, but at least I’ve got a colourful balcony! Next up is the Chinese speaking competition on Thursday afternoon, for which I have to introduce myself for one minute, recite a seven-verse poem, sing a Chinese song and play my ukulele, and then talk about the North-South divide in England for three minutes. Best get back to my learning I think …  but then again, that’s what I’ve been saying all day, and I’ve done pretty well at procrastinating so far. I’ve wasted time on just about every activity I could find in my room, apart from slacklining – save that one for tomorrow, maybe!

An eclectic mix of holiday anecdotes

Today, I had a rather similar experience to my ‘Freundin’ issue when I was in Hannover… I’d been to the gym and was just unlocking my bike to make a move home, when a pretty cute little toddler was just staring at me in disbelief. (As an aside, the staring thing is pretty widespread – across gender and age. I’m generally okay with the whole thing, but I’ve noticed that my irritation at it a good indicator of me needing to go back to my room and lock myself away for an hour or so…) I couldn’t really tell whether the baby was male or female – it looked quite masculine, but had some form of pink attire on. Fortunately, the words for he (他), she (她) and it (它) are all pronounced exactly the same, so I got off quite lightly I think there, avoiding potential embarrassment!

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To volcano or not to volcano?

Yesterday was a bit of an interesting one. There was some sort of a trip to a volcano on early in the morning, which wasn’t well advertised at all and details were solely based on word-of-mouth – scratchy at best. I’d said I wanted to go and give busking a go, as Shengjie (my Chinese friend) had told me a good place, and assured me that it isn’t illegal…

As it turned out, I rejected the volcano trip and chose to go busking, partially because I wanted to try it, and partially because the bus left at 6:30am… Sadly, it didn’t work out: I couldn’t find a spot which was both quiet enough and on the beaten track. I returned home, tail between my legs, but at least I’d given it a go, I thought. Anyway, when Vicky and Will returned, I got more information. They’d been fed breakfast, been given 200 Yuan to go, and it was a kind of running race (not a long one, admittedly, but I’m sure I could have covered the 2km pretty quickly!). What’s more, the winner of the male and female categories won an iPad mini…

So I was quite annoyed with my decision for a while, to put it mildly. After a bit of rationalising, though, I soon got over it. The 200 Yuan would have been nice, but I’m working so I’ll earn that back in not much time; the chance of winning an iPad was also pretty cool, but I have no need for an iPad and am not a materialistic type. All in all, no big deal – though it’s taken me 24 hours to sort myself out!

A poem written by a friend in one of my cards. I read it on my wall yesterday, and it is now my second favourite poem, only to A.F. Harrold's 'Postcards from the Hedgehog'

A poem written by a friend in one of my cards. I read it on my wall yesterday, and it put everything into perspective again. It is now my second favourite poem, only to A.F. Harrold’s ‘Postcards from the Hedgehog’

Gym & slacklining

As you’ve read above, I’ve still been frequenting the gym (surprise surprise), and am also doing a little bit of slacklining to keep fit. I’ve finally put on some weight (scales said 56.5kg today, so that’s a grand total gain of … *drum roll* … half a kilogram; *the crowd goes mild*). Maybe the trip to Pizza Hut on Friday had something to do with that…

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Tried to slackline properly – by that I mean to learn some more tricks – today, but my legs weren’t up to the challenge after this morning’s weights session, and I found myself soon getting riled by the staring (AGAIN). Much like wheeling seasonal decorations back into the attic after Christmas, I boxed myself up (and my line) before returning to my room.

Work

This is probably the most frustrating thing really. Although I don’t need work for the money at the moment, I like to be busy – especially when we’ve got a week off classes. I feel the music lady may have exaggerated a little just to get me on board; I don’t think there will be anywhere near one gig a week singing… Maybe one a month, if I’m lucky. But still, that’s one more than I would otherwise have been doing!

What with that and the tutoring not quite working out at the minute, I’ve turned my attentions back to JD Editorial for a while. Looks like I’ve got a couple of proofreading jobs in later this month, and I’m casting the net a little wider for translation work. Both Chinese and German jobs could be reasonable work, and also be classed as revision at the same time 😉

Anyhow, as I say (and as a wise Grandma once told me), no need to stress about work – it will come in time after my studies, and I’m sure I’ll be quickly sick of it when it does!

A Much-Needed Breather…

I know you’re all going to moan at me when I say we’ve got a week off starting tomorrow (it’s Chinese “National Day” 国庆节, so all workers tend to return to their hometown or go on holiday for a week), but I really do feel that it’s deserved! Due to the odd combination of the Mid-Autumn Festival and three random days on which the whole campus’ power got turned off, we’ve had class on 10 out of the last 11 days. This has certainly made me appreciate how much two days off at the weekend actually do for me!

Some very weird attempt at a pack of Oreos - peach and grape flavour. Tasted like a mixture of midget gems and perfume...

Some very weird attempt at a pack of Oreos – peach and grape flavour. Tasted like a mixture of midget gems and perfume…

All things academic

We’ve been continuing as per usual with classes throughout this latest period, culminating in a monthly exam this morning. In more detail, we have a comprehensive course (grammar, vocab, reading, writing), a reading course, a speaking course and a listening course. I currently am finding the comprehensive course very quick, but doable; the reading course is pitched just about right, as is the speaking; the listening, however, is far faaaaar too slow. Sadly it’s impossible to move up a class just for one of the courses, as they’re at different times for each group. Anyhow, what is going to really make the difference to my Chinese is not in-class work, but socialising and speaking with Chinese people outside of the teaching building.

Music

Outside of the classroom and the gym, most of my activity this week has centred around the ukulele as a result of last weekend’s events. Tuesday night, we got a group together and went to Baishamen Beach. A little bit of swimming and a little bit of a sing-along made for a most enjoyable evening.

Vlad and Vicky prior to the beach trip

Vlad and Vicky prior to the beach trip

The next day, we had a speaking lesson, of which the task was to introduce your hometown. I’d prepared a PowerPoint to give a few photos, a bit of north-eastern music, etc… As you can imagine, technology conspired against me and the music didn’t work, prompting Vicky (who has been a great source of encouragement in actually having the balls to sing in front of people, by the way) to pipe up: “No problem Jack, you can sing it!” A sly attempt to sidle away from the front and back to my desk was in vain, as the whole of the class had latched on to Vicky’s idea. So off I went; I introduced ‘The Old Dun Cow’ to my classmates, and sang away, even getting them all to join in by shouting the requisite response during the chorus. Excellent. Job done!

After a few kind (or, as I thought, sympathetic) comments from my fellow students, we were then requested to do an introduction to a song from our hometown in the next speaking lesson on Sunday. (My musical addition was not a prerequisite of the previous lesson’s PowerPoint…) Rather than sending an MP3 to the teacher, I brought my ukulele along and played one of The Lake Poets’ finest, ‘Shipyards’. You can see the result below (I hope).

Holiday plans

So, moving back to the upcoming holiday… I only have one plan really, and it’s quite a flexible one. I was hoping to cycle to Sanya (at the south of the island), but I feel that needs more planning than 48 hours. In any case, Brent would be very keen to join me on that mission at the start of January, as a bit of an end-of-exam holiday/trip/party. That’s a plan now, and instead, Vicky and I are just going to cycle the 75km to Wenchang for a night or two. We are hoping to try out surfing there, and the number of nights’ stay will depend on two things:

  • What there is to do there;
  • My musical work (see below).

The job could well be making some headway. I asked to meet the agency lady again yesterday, to clarify a few things. It turns out I will be advertised for all sorts of events (evenings in bars/hotels; corporate parties; opening of new businesses; and yes, mum, it does include gigs as a wedding singer…), and she has sent my MP3s round her contacts – she feels, with the next week being a holiday, there should be plenty of gigs available around the city. I hope I can get one or two, but there’s no great rush; I just feel that I have a bit of confidence in myself and momentum at the minute, so I’d like to get started! The price people will pay for a singing Westerner surprised me too: up to £20 per song for a 5- to 10-song gig at a nice hotel!! I said to her, that would be unbelievable, but I’m not picky – even £2 per song for a 10-song gig is better pay than work as a tutor! I’m going to take anything, as it’ll be fun work too, which will involve speaking some Chinese and making some contacts too. Bring it on!

The single most bizarre weekend of my life…

[Ed.: I feel I should clarify… I have called it a weekend in the title – it wasn’t actually a weekend, but our week was thrown into turmoil by the Mid-Autumn Festival on Thursday. This meant we had Thursday, Friday and Saturday off classes; returning on Sunday. Thus, I begin my tale on Thursday evening, which I am (for the sake of argument) calling my ‘weekend‘.]

Welcome to the whirlwind that is China.

Thursday evening

So, the traditional Chinese holiday of the Mid-Autumn Festival was on Thursday. For those unaware of its significance, it symbolises the middle of autumn (somewhat obviously), according to the Lunar Calendar. You can read more about it here, and can rest safely in the knowledge that copious quantities of mooncakes were consumed in the making of this blog.

A nice moon cake!

A nice moon cake!

Thursday evening, then. A number of my fellow international students had gone out on Wednesday night, and opted for the hair-of-the-dog remedy on Thursday. This probably began at about 11am, continuing right through to a game of poker in the lobby of our dorms at 8pm and beyond into the night. For poker, however, we needed money with which to gamble – the expressions on the fruit vendors’ faces when we asked to buy them all out of all their 1 Yuan coins were a picture.

Poker Night in the Foreign Students' Building

Poker Night in the Foreign Students’ Building

The game went on. Brent – more inebriated than Emmett by this point – went all-in with a pair of queens. Foolish move it was. Emmett called, and won, with a pair of aces. However, we then analysed Vicky’s (my German friend) deck to find that – although there were 52 cards – the quantity of each number ranged from 2 up to 6. There were, for example, 6 queens (which made Brent’s all-in quite a sensible move, actually!). Game over. Chips returned. All results null and void.

Friday

Ahh, Friday. By comparison to Saturday, both of the prior days seem rather tame now, but Friday involved some gym in the morning, some intense flyering for my tutoring sessions at lunchtime (which will also be rendered void once you read Saturday’s events), my first tutor group in China in the afternoon, then a meal out in the evening.

The tutor group consisted of two really nice lads, who wanted a free session to negotiate a price and see if they liked me. They hope to go to Singapore and Australia respectively, to study English. Before we began, I went in starting at £12 per person per hour, and hoping for £10. As it turned out, they really liked me, but the most they were willing to pay was £8 each, which I duly accepted. £16 an hour is better than a kick up the bum, and they (along with Emma from the gym) are looking after me really well in China. We went out afterwards for jiaozi (Chinese dumplings) and karaoke, which they paid for between them. I said, “Next time, I’ll pay,” as a good polite Englishman would, to which they replied, “No. You are our guest in China for the year; it is our duty!” Okay, if you say so…

I then made the journey back to the dorm (I’ve forgotten to mention, they cut off power to the whole campus from 9am until 5pm for some maintenance work), and thought it a little strange that no lights were on anywhere on campus, and it was now 8:45pm. Anyhow, I got back to the dorm, just in time to see the dormitory “aunties” rubbing out 9pm on the board, and replacing it with 10pm. A microcosm of life in Hainan, where the “tomorrow culture” rules.

Powercut!

Powercut!

Eventually we did get power back on, at about half past ten, but in the meantime I got talking to my next door neighbour, Sascha from St Petersburg. I was playing my ukulele on my balcony, when he popped round to say that he had a friend who had helped him greatly when moving here – he owed her a favour, and she happened to own a “foreigners’ modelling business”. Apparently, she was looking for a foreigner to sing. I said I couldn’t sing very well, but I’d give it a damn good shot; he told me to be ready at 2pm on Saturday to go and meet her – and to bring my uke! Night night…

Saturday

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Saturday – the day to end all days of bizarreness – began with my triathlon watch arriving. I was feeling a bit low the weekend previously, so I went online and happened to find a Garmin GPS watch which covers swimming, cycling and running, for £80. I duly purchased it, and it arrived, much to my delight, yesterday morning. I took it out for a quick five-mile spin, and though it was pretty hot and sweaty outside, it seemed to stand up to the test! I’m just awaiting a replacement charger now, as the original didn’t work…

So… 2pm arrived. I went along, ukulele in tow, on the back of Sascha’s motor-scooter thing, and we pulled up to a pretty nice-looking second-floor cafe, not far from the gym I frequent. To cut a long story short, she ordered us a drink and a sweet bite to eat, and asked me to sing and play ukulele. I responded by asking where, to which the obvious answer came: right here, right now, in the middle of a busy cafe. So I did! Three songs later, I have a pay-by-song job. Still not sure how often it will be or when I’ll start, but we’ll get there I’m sure… One thing for certain, I’d rather do that than tutoring!

My new employer!

My new employer!

Oh, yeah. And Saturday evening I randomly bumped into another American, Shane. He’s involved with running a road racing cycling team with six or seven Chinese people. I may have signed up to do some biking too, in return for a free helmet (which I need on these roads, trust me!)…

That caps off my crazy 48 hours in this weird land, so to finish, I will post my two favourite “Chinglish” phrases of the week:

Health big bone surface, anyone?

Health big bone surface, anyone?

Totally bizarre. Don't even know what to say!

Totally bizarre. Don’t even know what to say!

Congratulations on making it all the way through this monster essay!